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Goes Nowhere, Does Nothing
[meme] Musical Wiki 
2007.12.10 03:09 pm
I've mostly stopped doing memes, but jetwolf pointed out this one in her own LJ, and it amused me more than any meme in a long time. So, here I go. :)

Go to the Wikipedia home page in your preferred language and click "random article." That is your band's name. Click "random article" again. That is your album name. Click "random article" 15 more times. Those are the tracks on your album.

Artist: Macrozamia Lomandroides
This, to me, screams "college band."

Album: Alexander Luria
"Famous Soviet neuropsychologist and developmental psychologist ... one of the founders of cultural-historical psychology and psychological activity theory." Ok, yeah. We're definitely a college band. One whose members are pretentious, overeducated, and undertalented. But our gig posters kick ass. (And they should, because we spend four times as long designing them as they do practicing our actual songs. :)

1. Mark Tushnet
"A professor at Harvard Law School and a prominent scholar of constitutional law and legal history." Aha! So, now we know which college we're from. "One of the more controversial figures in constitutional theory ... once stated in an article that, were he asked to decide actual cases as a judge, he would seek to reach results that would 'advance the cause of socialism'." Oh, yes. We're really playing to the People's Republic of Cambridge, here. Look at us! We're poitically relevant! (Never mind that we all failed Prof. Tushnet's class.) Pity we can't carry a tune to save our lives.

2. Evolution of an Idea
The whole song is one big crescendo. We start out nice and quiet and slow, then there's this bouncy melodic-pop section in the middle before everything starts to go haywire -- and it all ends in a cacophany of random noise that abruptly cuts off to the quiet "beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" of a flatlined electrocardiogram. Or an electroencephalogram. We're not entirely sure, because everything we know about medicine we learned from episodes of House, M.D.

3. New Line Learning
Oh, wow. I swear, I'm not picking and choosing these track titles. (I'm also not writing these knowing what titles come next.) This is clearly our "The American Educational System Is Corrupt, Worthless, and Full of Propaganda -- and We're Not Just Saying That Because We're About To Fail Out of College by Playing Too Much World of Warcraft, Really" song. It goes over great when we play it during finals week.

4. Stabilization (medical)
I told you we watched a lot of House. This is a song sung from the POV of someone dying of lupus.

5. Revolutionary Communist Group of Colombia
Geez, I don't even have to try, do I? :) That said, you should really check out the YouTube video our bassist put together for this track. The best part is the intercut footage of Andrés Escobar Saldarriaga, the guy who lost the 1994 World Cup game to the USA on an own goal, and was murdered 10 days later upon his return to Colombia.

6. Mister M
Well, you see... our drummer, Al, still reads Marvel Comics, and he really liked House of M. So we let him write one track for the CD, just to shut him up about it. Trust me, you don't want to listen to it.

7. Rohan Hours
Only our bassist has any idea what this song is about. It had something to do with Christ and French people, we think. But it's got a cool hook.

8. 2006 AIHL Season
A 45-second Instrumental track.

9. The Bugaboos
This is a cover of a song by some local Canadian band our lead vocalist listened to in high school. The lyrics are evocative, the harmonies are divine, the tone is spooky as hell, and we completely ruin it.

10. Laggers Point
This is a song about an Australian girl who goes down to the ocean shore every morning, and sits there for hours, longing for her love -- presumed dead at sea a year before -- to return. Really, though, it's all about our lead vocalist trying to get into the pants of this Aussie chick in his Chemistry class by coming across as all sensitive and crap.

11. Roker Park
Inane lyrics, repetitive tune, one chord -- this is our "crowd-pleaser" song. It gets played at parties a lot.

12. Cristoforo Caselli
This is another one by our bassist (who, believe it or not, plays violin on this track). It's sung entirely in Italian, which our lead vocalist doesn't speak.

13. Las Casas del Conde
We call this a Macrozamia Lomandroides song, but really it's some instrumental-synth-and-drum-machine noodling that our keyboard player did a year before we formed the band. We couldn't possibly play this live.

14. Augusto Boal
Woohoo! We're finally done with the artsy crap, and can get back to the political crap. Boal was "the founder of Theatre of the Oppressed, a political theatrical form originally used in radical popular education movements." That's right in our wheelhouse. This track is bombastic, and stuffed to the gills with as many theatre terms and forced references to South American fascists as we could cram into 3 minutes and 46 seconds. Which brings us to our concert finale...

15. Milton
Because, let me tell you, nothing ends a show like a 14-minute meandering adaptation of what our bassist was pretty sure that Paradise Lost was about. Mostly, it's about demons... and sex... and demons having sex... oh, and there's a mention of the Pope in the eighth verse that I've never quite understood.

Ah, those were the days. "Milton" got all of us permanently banned from the Holy Cross campus -- that was, I think, the height of our fame. We broke up a year and a half after we formed, when our bassist started dating the vocalist's ex -- you know, the Aussie chick.
2007.12.10 08:41 pm (UTC)
This is a song sung from the POV of someone dying of lupus.

But it's NEVER lupus!

Yay, I made you meme!
2007.12.11 12:05 am (UTC)
It was once!!!

2007.12.10 08:49 pm (UTC)
This rocks.

I miss seeing your writing more often.
2007.12.10 11:44 pm (UTC)
This is amazing. :)
2007.12.11 04:31 am (UTC)
Excellent commentary! xD
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